I don’t think I’ve ever despised a phrase more than “get over it”.
You will never get a quicker infamous INFJ door slam than the one you’ll get after those words (or any others like it) leave your mouth. We will never trust you with our emotions EVER again.
I don’t know about all INFJs, but my emotions are like water pouring from floodgates. If the emotion is overly strong, there is no shutting the gates, no “getting over it”… I can only let the feeling wash over me until it fades. It has been this way my ENTIRE life and nothing I have ever tried can make the emotion feel any… less. It’s like I was created with emotions that are magnified by 100, both positive and negative alike. The only thing I have found that is even remotely effective is to remain emotionally neutral as often as I possibly can, which can make me seem cold, distant, or even boring.
And when I open up my soul and share with you what I’m feeling and all you can manage to say is “get over it” is insulting, ignorant, and infuriating. I may still be cordial and polite to you, but you will never be allowed a peek into my inner world ever again.
I’m sure to most people we initially share our feelings with can view us as dramatic, but if they could feel what we have to feel on a regular basis it would change their perspective entirely.
When I feel any emotion, I feel it so completely that it is almost all I can focus on, even when I feel nothing. Imagine, you get into a small squabble with one of your close friends. You feel anger, annoyance bubble up inside you and that is all you can feel or focus on until it is resolved. It eats away at you and each time you force your thoughts toward things that need immediate attention, the emotion is still there casting an ugly shadow on every thought, every moment. Then you find out that you got a promotion in your job and excitement and happiness bubbles up, but that anger and annoyance is not gone either, it’s not even subsided or pushed to the back. You are SIMULTANEOUSLY feeling happy, excited, angry, and annoyed. That is exactly why we door slam people because we cannot handle the feelings that come along with toxic or tumultuous relationships and still manage emotions that occur throughout our every day. It is easier to shut those doors completely than to shut off our magnified emotions. We don’t have enough room for all that chaos.
Maybe I’m only speaking for myself as I write this, and maybe I’m a weirdo within a group of weirdos. But my hope is that at least ONE person finds common ground with me and that I’m not alone.